Psalm 3

This is what I shared in front of some 300+ people with tears streaming down my face, unable to be willed back to the place they came from...the final night of Redemption Group.

I came to Redemption Groups for God to fix me. Fix my anger, my bitterness, my loneliness, my lack of contentment and love. I’ve always come to God to fix me.

Because I want to be better. I want to be perfect. So, I’ve tried to control everything and everyone in my life so that they can be perfect too. My husband, my children, my home.

I’ve carried the illusion of control for so long.

As a child it was “strong-willed.”

As a teenager it was “rebellious.”

As an adult it was “independent.”

God recently gave me the picture of a scarecrow. A scarecrow is a projection of strength. Meant to protect what’s vulnerable. But in reality, it is full of nothing.

And that was me, my whole life, projecting strength to keep from being vulnerable. It’s always been an illusion. A painful one.

So now, seeing how destructive control is, I’m learning what it means to truly TRUST God. Just trust Him. Not control Him and what he does in my life or the lives around me, simply TRUST Him.

He paid for our PEACE. Do you know it? Do you live in peace? Isaiah 53:5 the chastisement (the beating) for OUR PEACE was upon Him.”

He paid for our PEACE. So what is it when we don’t live in peace? SIN.

HE is the greatest gift he gives. Not a fixed up version of me.

In His presence is fullness of joy.

Where the spirit of the Lord is there is freedom.

He IS our redemption.

Apart from Him there is NO good thing.